I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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