smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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