are you so shy because you have an std?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's never too late to be topless.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
