Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
