I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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