Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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