New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
