Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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