You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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