that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
