we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
