Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
