she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
