Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
