i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
