I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
