she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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