Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
