I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
