just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
being pregnant is like rehab
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
