Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize