speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize