We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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