I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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