brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
