Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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