I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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