i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize