dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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