I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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