In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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