Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Couch. On fire.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
