I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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