Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
This house was built for laser tag.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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