hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
