im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize