marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
