addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
