So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
