Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
