he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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