I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
