theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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