Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
