I think my vagina is haunted
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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