we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just want to make out with him forever
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize