let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
