Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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