Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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