Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
