Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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