She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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