The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Come on in and take your pants off
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
