I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
