I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
