he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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